I haven’t been doing much in the way of writing here lately. It’s been an exhausting couple of weeks. Kids going back to school. I’ve starting with my yoga teacher training which has been physically, mentally and emotionally exhausting. Come to think of it, going back to school as a teenager would be about the same on all three accounts, only more so!
But it’s been good. All of it.
I always thought those first few years of parenting were going to be the most difficult. We were somewhat experienced with what I refer to as our pretty demanding 21 month-old toddler. At least that’s how I remember him. Then, along came our twins. Those first 2, or 4, or 5 years dealing with all three were pretty much a blur.
We moved overseas to start this new life and things settled down somewhat. Kids were all in school. The most difficult issues were helping them learn to read, get along with each other, contribute to the household with some simple chores.
It’s somewhat more complicated these days.
We’ve spent the better part of a month trying to help Oldest Son with his path forward on this last year of secondary school and what might lay ahead. About the importance of planning his future. Treading the fine line of making it seem important without managing to overload him with what he feels might be life and death decisions. He tends to want to please us, so encouraging him to speak up about what he really wants to do, what he loves, what inspires him, isn’t always easy. Generally I think he says what he believes we want to hear. But now’s not the time for that. Soon, it’s going to be his life, after all.
Dear Daughter also took some serious mental maneuvering on our part. I had almost given up, having parlayed the last of my wisdom in trying to help her feel her way through some heavy emotional fluctuations. I handed it over to Dear Husband who thankfully, was able to find the source of her angst. Knowing the problem was key to finding what we hope was a solution.
Then at the end of the week Youngest Son lost the privilege of using his PS3. I can’t remember the last time we’ve had to take away kids’ privileges. But this had been building for some time now. This teenage boy can’t be bothered-have nothing good to say-and when we open our mouth it’s generally sarcastic, negativity filling our airwaves. I was out at the time, but DH had enough. So the plug was pulled and confiscated. Three days of moping around and one long conversation over the course of 2 or 3 hours…and problem number three was fairly resolved with some understanding realised by all. It was again, a long hard struggle getting to that point.
DH is always great at keeping it in perspective. As DD was figuring out her struggle, he alluded to the fact that we all have our struggles. As I’ve mentioned many times here now, I am all for letting my self and my quirks be a source of other’s humor. He was telling her how I struggle. A couple years ago when I was trying to figure some things out, he said I took to learning Reiki in hopes that clearing my energy would help. This year, he said I’m trying to untangle my mind and body wrapped in knots, with yoga.
We all have to push through the thick brush to make our way into the clearing and for each of us it is a different struggle. For each of us, a different way out.
But we’ll get there.
Years past all it took to get our kids through to the next day was a hug, a band-aid over the scrape, a warm bath and a bedtime story. These days it takes a little bit of tic-tac-toe to find just the right combination to help them. We always joke about how they’ll end up hating how we managed one thing or another with them.
At least they’ll know – we tried.