Call me selfish. Call me naive. Call me stupid.
Yesterday I posted in my FB status how I was loving life at the moment. Working from home, being with our kids, getting to wear shorts and flip-flops all day…..
Some ‘like’ this. Some commented how great it was. Others replied almost woefully ….maybe one day…..
I notice on FB a LOT how people often write as their status:
can’t wait for the weekend
and then …
weekend already over – bummer!
I have been fortunate the past few years that I have not had to for financial reasons, stay in a job that I hated (yes, thank you dear husband for sticking with yours!!!!!!!!!!!). However thinking about this further, even before dear husband was around and I was on my own I never stayed in a job that I hated.
I have on numerous occasions quit jobs because I either grew to dislike the people I was working with, or their values and principles. How they worked, how they treated me or others at work. Some would say I was the problem at work…and I just might have to agree (hesitantly though).
I’ve also ‘quit’ some friendships. I’ve also ‘quit’ some family, over the years.
These are never easy decisions to make.
Some call this being foolish. Some call it not sticking to something you started. Some call it being selfish.
I call it making choices that are best for me in this life. I only have this one, you see.
Do I regret any of my choices of things I quit? Not really. Well, maybe the only thing in my life I regret is dropping ‘out’ of high school. Not that I dropped out, but rather dropped the ball on what I was meant to be doing there. Like attending and learning!
Do I regret any of the opportunities I didn’t take? Well, maybe a few. But for the most part I HAVE TRIED PRETTY MUCH ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING that I’ve been granted an opportunity to try.
While living here in Qatar I worked for a few years at a school, for a man I truly admire. One of the key ethos he shaped in the school was to try. Give it a go. Dare to risk. Dare to fail. Dare to make a mistake.
A fairly recent example I use is quitting one job to go to what I thought was an amazing opportunity in a new one. First hour into it I knew I’d made a huge mistake. “What to do?” as they say around these parts. Well, I thought about it a lot, went on my holidays, came back, tried it again for a couple of weeks – and quit. I felt somewhat bad for the company and my error in judgement in that they would now have to go through the process again and hire someone else.
Do I feel bad about the mistake? Not at all. In hindsight, I’m not so sure now it was even a mistake but rather a step in the right direction. Right after leaving that job I took a contract position for a year working at something so easy…. it allowed me time and freedom to think of what I really wanted to do with this life of mine. A lot has transpired since then. A few years have gone by, but I’m starting to feel like I’m on to something and it feels right to be on this path.
Where will it lead?
Will this latest gig of mine last? Who knows. But that’s okay too.
We’re always told we need to stick things out. Why is that?
Career wise, one reason is ‘it will look bad on your resume’. Oh, I get it. So, my resume will ‘look good’ to some, but I can be miserable in my life. Makes sense.
I’ve never been without work when I needed it or wanted it.
Am I someone special because of what I do at work? No. I long ago realised that the minute I left a job – it’s over. What I ‘was’ makes no difference. I’m only as good as my reputation, my last job. Did all those efforts and hours count for anything? Not really. I am easily replaced.
I hope that some of my contributions at work have mattered, have made a difference. I will also say I know some people whose contributions matter greatly in their line of work. Far more than mine ever will. So their situation may be quite different from mine and how they make their decisions. I just have to go with what’s right for me.
But in the end whether it’s 5 years from now or 10 or 20 that part of life will be over. What then? Will it have been worth sacrificing my happiness, my sense of self, my values, my peace, my health for it? To be considered successful at my job? To have a great reputation? To have accumulated lots of money? Maybe even awards and accolades?
Everyone has their own purpose in life. I haven’t quite got that all figured out. Maybe mine is to have the longest list of jobs than anyone else I know. I can say one thing for sure, it has surely been interesting!
And those “maybe one days…..”? Well, call me what you like but those three words are just not in this kid’s vocabulary! I don’t want to spend my days, wishing I were somewhere else.